Humoriges

Oft begegnen einem witzige Sprüche, Anekdoten oder Witze in der Fußzeile von Mails. Damit diese Sprüche nicht verloren gehen und andere mitlachen können hier eine Sammlung:

Feinschmecker

Microsoft is to software what McDonalds is to gourmet cooking

Just cool...

Exchange Microsoft!

Fensterwelten

In a world without walls and fences, who needs Windows and Gates?

Linus on NT

I used to be interested in Windows NT, but the more I see of it the more it looks like traditional Windows with a stabler kernel. I don't find anything technically interesting there. In my opinion, MS is a lot better at making money than it is at making good operating systems. -- Linus Thorvalds

Se habla Unix?

Those who do not understand Unix are condemned to reinvent it, poorly. -- Henry Spencer

Win98

Windows 98 supports real multitasking - it can boot and crash simultaneously

Harte Ware

When I shop for hardware I always look for the "Designed for Windows 95" logo. I really thank Microsoft(TM) for encouraging manufacturers to label their products this way, so I know what to AVOID

Logisch.

The box said "Requires Win95, NT, or better," and so I installed Linux.

Leben

Life is a sexually transmitted disease.

Userfriendly

UNIX is user friendly. It's just selective who the friends are.

Indianerlager

Linux is like wigwam - no windows, no gates, apache inside.

Zahlenfolgen

Titanic 12 ... Hindenburg Zeppelin 37 ... Microsoft Windows 98

Weise

My grandfather once told me that there are two kinds of people: those who work and those who take the credit. He told me to try to be in the first group; there was less competition there. -- Indira Gandhi

Komplexitäten

There is no subject, however complex, which - if studied with patience and intelligence - will not become more complex. -- New Speaker's Handbook

Legendäres

Legendary are the stories about FORTRAN programs using negative array offsets to fix operating system bugs... -- Olaf Seibert (on BUGTRAQ)

Ideen

Thinking is dangerous. It leads to ideas.

Lebensmotto

All I wanna do is have a little fun before I die!

Vorinstallierte Software

Forcing preloads on people is like refusing to sell me a suit unless I also pay for a pair of shoes, made by a wholly different company, that are two sizes too small for my feet. -- Donna., who got a $99 refund for Windows

Ei wer wohnt denn da?

Who is general failure, and what is he doing in my computer?

Eine Frage noch...

Was ist der Unterschied zwischen Jurassic Park und Microsoft? Bei dem einen versucht ein reicher Irrer mit Dingen Geld zu machen, die eigentlich seit ewiger Zeit ausgestorben sein sollten und das andere ist ein Film von Stephen Spielberg.

Über Sex

Software is like sex; it's better when it's free -- Linus Thorvalds

Betriebssysteme

Any sufficiently advanced Operating System is indistinguishable from Linux -- Jim Dennis

Der Siegeszug

First they ignore you,
then they laugh at you,
then they fight you,
then you win. -- Mahatma Ghandi (möglicherweise doch nicht zum Thema Linux?)

Ärgerliche Pinguine

Some people have told me they don't think a fat penguin really embodies the grace of Linux, which just tells me they have never seen an angry penguin charging at them in excess of 100 mph. They'd be a lot more careful about what they said if they had. -- Linus Thorvalds

Raus damit

Don't throw your PC out of the window, throw Windows out of your PC and run linux! -- Gernot Kerschbaumer

Versagen

Failure is not an option. It comes bundled with your Microsoft product.

Bungee

If at first you don't succeed, try a shorter bungee.

Shit happens...

• Windows95 / 98 - Shit happens
• Commercial Unix - Shit happens over RPC.
• Linux - When shit happens, you fix it.
• FreeBSD - Shit would happen, but there's no driver for it yet.
• NT - Shit wouldn't happen if you'd just spend a few months performing 300+modifications to our default installation, you lazy sysadmin. Get your MCSE.
• Windows 2000 (NT5) - Shit happens over DCOM.

-- DilDog von Cult of the Dead Cow

Innereien

The inside of a computer is as dumb as hell, but it goes like mad! -- Physiker Richard Feynman

Hammer

If all you have is a hammer, everything starts to look like a nail! -- Cord